Pineapple Guacamole
Makes about 2 1/2 cups of dankness
Helllluur new friend. I was a little nervous adding pineapple but man was I taken by surprise. Not like huac needs help being more delicious, but if you ever feel like mixing it up add them pineapples and enjoy. It's so good you might not want to share.
Ingredients:
2 avocados
2/3 cup chopped pineapple (Canned or fresh, whatever. I used canned and cut them up a little more once I took them out. I also only put in 1/2 cup because it was my first time and I got nervy. Your guac= your rules)
1/2 cup chopped red onion (NOTE TO SELF: red onion is stronger than a white, yellow, and sweet onion. Therefore, you will cry more. Just a heads up. You'll thank me later.)
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon lime juice
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
Pinch of salt
All you gotta do it mash up the avocados into nice chunks then add everything else in and start dipping. Serve at room temp or chilled. Your call.
Blended Sweet Cinnamon Spice Lattes
Makes 2 tall drinks, or one venti
Maybe you want some tea but it's just too damn hot outside for all that. Well, here ya go, problem solved. You're welcome. This can actually be made with any tea you want. Peppermint, Chai, Earl Grey. Your latte, your choice.
Ingredients:
2 cups vanilla almond milk
1/2 cup water
4 bags Tea (this is where you have to make a decision and choose what you're going to use. no pressure)
1 to 2 teaspoons maple syrup or agave syrup (to taste)
2 cups ice cubes
1/2 frozen banana cut into chunks
ONE: In a small saucepan, heat the almond milk and water over medium heat until it stars to bubble around the edges. Turn off the heat and add the tea bags. Let them steep for 10 minutes. DON'T over steep them. So set a helpful timer on your new iPhone 6+ and go do something extremely unproductive while this is doing its thing. Take the bags out and stick all that in the fridge to cool down for at least 1 1/2 hours.
TWO: When you're ready to drink, add the maple syrup, ice, banana, and tea mix to a blender and run until it is smooth.
WOWZA! This is a very tasty side. The awesome thing about quinoa is that you can pair it with anything. I used this as a side with teriyaki steak. Wise choice.
Ingredients:
1 teaspoon plus 2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups quinoa
2 3/4 cups water
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoon vice vinegar
1/3 cup chopped mint
2 tablespoons minced green onions
1/2 cup slivered almonds **(optional but why the heck not)
TWO: Mix together the lemon juice, vinegar, and remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil in a small glass. After the quinoa has cooled for a couple of minutes, add the lemon dressing, mint, and green onions to it. Toss well and fold in the almonds. Taste and see if you want more salt, mint, or whatever else. Serve at room temp or cold.
Banana Pancakes
Makes about 12 pancakes or 6-8 mega ones (you decide). You can either keep the extras in the ridge as leftovers/snacks for later or freeze them and eat whenever you damn well please.
Holy pancakes! I've always been a huge pancake fan. My dad used to make them every Sunday growing up and man were they a hit. A hit to the point that my friend Caroline used to come over and have them with us. Try these out. Add chocolate chips if you want to get extra sweet in the morning.
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour to whole wheat pastry flour (I used all purpose)
2 tablespoons brown or white sugar (I used 1 of each)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups nondairy milk (like almond)
1 small banana, Mashed
Grapeseed oil or coconut oil for cooking the pancakes
ONE: In a big bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Make a crater in the middle and add the milk and mashed up banana. Mix that all together until there are no more dry spots, but don't go crazy. Mixing too much will make them tough, we don't want them to be tough, duh.
TWO: Pour that batter into a skillet or griddle and get flipping my dudes.
Yeah I may have taken a bite out of that one when it was fresh off the stove.
Song for the Recipe: Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson
Oh. My. Lanta. Never buy store bought salsa again because this shit is dank. It is definitely spicy but man is it fabulous. Have this with tacos, quesadillas, chips, eggs, you name it. Food item + fire roasted salsa = good.
Ingredients:
1 can (14.5 ounces) fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1/2 white or yellow onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
1/3 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
3 serrano peppers, chopped (for extra spicy add the seeds)
2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
juice of 1/2 lime
salt to taste
ONE AND DONE: Throw everything in a food processor or blender and blend it until it's how you like it. Smoothy, chunky, your salsa = your rules. Keeps for 4 to 5 days in the fridge, but it's so dank you'll be drinking this up.
Yeah, kind of a lame shot but trust me on this and dig in.
Roasted Beer and Lime Cauliflower Tacos with Cilantro Coleslaw
Makes about 6 tacos
*Pair this with the Fire Roasted Salsa like I did and it'll knock your socks off. Hella good.
I added ground turkey to this to beef it up a little bit but man are these good. Who knew cauliflower could taste delicious in tacos. Not me. So grab a beer and get to work. Just don't get too crazy until you're done cooking. My friend Avery was in town and she came over to help and of course eat. Enjoy.
Ingredients:
1 Head cauliflower
3/4 cup Beer (any type you want, just don't use something heavy like a stout. I used New Belgium Snapshot Wheat Beer)
1/4 cup Vegetable Broth
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 1/2 teaspoons soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons chipotle hot sauce
1 to 2 cloves garlic, sliced
1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
pinch of salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 yellow onion, chopped
6 corn tortillas
1 avocado, sliced
ONE: Head yo oven to 400F.
TWO: Chop the cauliflower into small florets no bigger than a quarter. In a saucepan, warm the beer, broth, lime juice, soy sauce, hot sauce, and garlic over medium heat. Add the cauliflower and simmer for about 1.5 minutes. Drain.
THREE: Toss the spices, salt and olive oil together in a large bowl. Add the cauliflower and onion and stir that ish until everything is coated. Dump it on the baking sheet and bake until browned, stirring halfway, about 20 minutes.
FOUR: To make the tacos, warm the tortillas and then add as much of whatever you want my dudes.
Cilantro Coleslaw
1/2 head of green cabbage (I used red because I had some left over, but use whatever you want)
1 small carrot
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup chopped cilantro
ONE AND DONE: Cut the cabbage into the thinnest strips you can and make sure those pieces are no longer than 2 inches long. This is a great time to get good with your knife skills if you're looking for a silver lining in all that chopping. Chop the carrot into thin matchsticks of the same length. In a small glass, mix together the lime juice, vinegar, oil, and salt. Add the dressing right before you are going to eat and toss that shit well. Add the cilantro and serve.
Two tacos of goodness.
Song for the Recipe: Peaceful Easy Feeling by the Eagles
Brown Rice Bowl with Edamame and Tamari Scallion Sauce
Makes enough for 4-6 peeps
Savory food for breakfast is where it's at and more people need to hop on the bandwagon. I've never had anything even remotely like this for breakfast so this was definitely a change for me. The sauce is ridiculously good, I may use it again and put it on some fish tacos. This is another recipe that is easy and makes a bunch so you can have it for leftovers during the week and not have to worry about making breakfast. Indulge in something other than cereal. You're welcome.
Ingredients:
TAMARI SCALLION SAUCE
1 cup sliced green onions
1/4 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons orange juice
4 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1 teaspoon soy sauce or tamari sauce (I used soy)
Basic Pot of Brown Rice (put 1 teaspoon coconut or olive oil in a medium sized sauce pan on medium heat. Add in 2 cups brown rice and let it toast for about 2 minutes. Then add in 3 1/2 cups water and let that ish cook for about 30 minutes or so)
4 cups shelled edamame (I bought the frozen kind and just heated them up in the microwave when I was ready to feast)
1/3 cup sliced almonds, toasted *optional (add them in and you won't regret it)
ONE: Assemble the sauce: throw everything into a blender or food processor and let it run until the sauce is smooth. You'll get about 2/3 cup of sauce. Dank.
TWO: Time for the bowl. Spoon equal parts brown rice and edamame into a bowl and drizzle however much sauce you want on top. Add the almonds after the sauce and feast my friends.
Song for the Recipe: Ambling Alp by Yeasayer
I just freaken love this song.
Cold Citrus Noodles with Cucumber and Carrots
Enough for 4 sides or for one big ass bowl for myself
I had some leftover udon noodles from the miso ginger soup I made about 2 weeks ago so I finally put them to good use and made this dish. These noodles definitely hit the f*cking spot. It was a warm day today and these babies help me cool down. Super refreshing and light but filling. Step out of your comfort zone and try something new.
Ingredients:
Citrus Sesame Sauce (yeah, you're making your own dressing like an adult)
1/4 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons orange juice
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
1 1/2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger (NOT garlic, don't make the same mistake I did and think it said garlic, add the garlic, then realize you were wrong and have to fish it out)
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Noodles and Veggies
8 ounces soba/udon/samen/whole wheat pasta (whatever you find and like is cool)
2 small carrots, cut into matchsticks
2 small cucumbers cut into matchsticks
2/3 cup thinly sliced green onions
1 1/2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds (I didn't toast mine and it still tasted bomb)
ONE: Mix all the ingredients for the citrus sesame sauce together in a small glass. Or be a bad ass like me and get your own dressing holder on sale at Target and put it in there.
TWO: Cook the noodles according to the package. When they are done, drain and rinse them with cold water so they stop cooking and don't get mushy.
THREE: While the noodles are cooking, cut up the veggies and green onions.
FOUR: Add the drained noodles, carrots, cucumbers, and sesame sauce to a large bowl and toss to combine. Fold in the green onions and sesame seeds. Serve cold or at room temp.
The stuff you see floating in the dressing is ginger, not boogers I promise.
Song for the Recipe: Free Your Mind by Cut Copy
Just feeling this song today, video is a little weird but song and band are epic.
Ginger-Mushroom Summer Rolls
Makes about 10-12 small itty bitty rolls or 4 mega rolls (I bet you're able to guess which one I did)
These are some sexy see-through burritos. Share them with friends and watch everyone be like "daaaaaammmn Ma". Plus spring roll wrappers are surprisingly easy to use and are tough so you can pack that puppy full of goods. They are filling yet light at the same time. Throw some peanuts and sweet and sour sauce on top before you take a fat bite. You won't regret it I swear.
Ingredients:
FILLING
8 ounces mushrooms (any type you like)
3 cloves garlic
1/2 teaspoon neutral-tasting oil like grape seed (just invest in grapeseed oil and make your life easier)
1 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
1/3 cup minced green onions
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
1/2 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
ROLLS
6 lettuce leaves
1 cucumber
1 carrot
1 cup fresh herbs (throw together whatever you like but cilantro, mint, and basil make the tastebuds go "heeeeeeey")
1 pack or large spring rolls wrappers/rice paper wrappers (they look like a stack of white frisbees and are near the soy sauce at the store. Cheap as hell too)
TOPPINGS
1 can sweet and sour sauce
1 cup peanuts (salted or unsalted you pick)
TWO: Time to chop them veggies. This recipe is pretty flexible when it comes to fillings, so feel free to use what you've got. Just make sure you have some lettuce, something crunchy, and at least one herb. Almost anything tastes good here. Just cut everything up except the lettuce into strips about 2 inches long. Cut the lettuce into thirds.
THREE: Now for the bougie shit. Warm about 3 inches of water in the same wok or skillet you cooked the mushrooms. You want the water warm but not too hot that you won't want to put your hand in it. It's time to get those spring roll wrappers ready to go. Once you got the water in the wok place one spring roll wrapper flat into the water for 10-15 seconds until it becomes bendy like a noodle. Let the extra water drip off and lay that sucker down on the plate.
FIVE: Now, you're going to put everything on one half of the spring roll wrapper. Add a piece of lettuce. Add your shrooms and whatever else you plan on putting in there, cucumbers, carrots, herbs, whatever you got ready. Once you've added everything fold the empty half over and roll that shit up like a burrito. Luckily, the wrappers are pretty tough, easy to move, and stick nicely once you're done rolling so you can pull it tight and lock it down. Keep making rolls until you run out of filling.
SIX: To serve add the chopped peanuts in your dipping sauce and you're good to go my friends. Eat up.
Scope my perfectly rolled summer rolls, holla.
Song for the Recipe: Flashed Junk Mind by Milky Chance
This beat has me summer dreaming, perfect for the dank ass summer rolls you just made.
Basic Maple Granola with Add-Ins
Makes about 5 cups, so yeah that's a decent amount of granola
Time to throw away your store bought granola and try this puppy out. You'll thank me later not only because it tastes a million times better but also isn't 99% sugar. The neat thing about this recipe is that you can alter it and add in whatever you like, dried fruits, nuts, you name it. Can't go wrong with a good granola plus this makes your kitchen smell like fresh baked goods probably one of the best scents.
Ingredients:
3 1/4 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup chopped pecans*
1/2 cup chopped almonds*
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup dried cranberries (OPTIONAL, I didn't sure any dried fruits)
*For this part you can add whatever kind of nuts/seeds you want, sunflower, walnuts, candied pecans. You decide what goes in your granola.
ONE: Heat over to 300F. Get your baking sheet ready and spray it with some non stick or line it with parchment paper.
TWO: Mix together the oats, seeds, and nuts in a large bowl.
THREE: In a medium glass, stir together the maple syrup, oil, and vanilla. Pour this all over the oat mixture and stir that shit around until everything is coated (see picture #1 below). Add the cinnamon and salt and stir.
FOUR: Pour all of this evenly over the baking sheet and stick it in the over for 35 minutes. Stir it every 10 minutes so that it cooks evenly. You'll know it's done when everything looks kinda toasted. Stir in the dried fruit if you want to use any. Let that all cool on the baking sheet and then store it in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
Song for the Recipe: Someone New by Hozier
A nice jingle while you're sprinkling that granola in your parfait in the morning.
Tortilla Soup
Enough for you and three friends, enemies, comrades, coworkers, bugs, whomever you want at your table.
WOWZA! This is the perfect combo of chunky veggies and brothy soup. It has been raining all weekend and I couldn't have picked something better to make. I've always been a big tortilla soup fan because my mom always made it. Her recipe is really good full of chunky vegetables, chicken pieces, and yummy broth. This recipe is it's own flavorful beast. It is spicy but man it is da bomb. Saddle up partners, you're in for a nice treat. Don't forget, grandmas and moms love soup, too. Share a little.
Ingredients:
1 yellow or white onion
1 bell pepper (whatever color you want, I did 1/3 yellow, red, and orange)
1 carrot
1 to 2 jalapeños (you decide boss)
4 cloves garlic
2.5 teaspoons each ground cumin, dried oregano, and chili powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes (regular or fire roasted are perfect)
1/4 cup tomato paste
6 cups vegetable broth
1 tablespoon lime juice
6 to 8 corn tortillas, cut into 1-inch squares (I used 6)
1 1/2 cup cups cooked chickpeas
Toppings: Chopped cilantro, minced jalapeños, avocado, crunched up tortilla chips
ONE: chop up the onions, carrot, and bell pepper into pieces about the size of a chickpea. Mince the garlic (CHEAT SHEET: they sell minced garlic in a jar at da store, buy it and make it easier on yoself), and jalapeños (same goes for these guys). Now you're ready to get down and dirty.
THREE: Now it's time to turn this baby up a notch. Add the lime juice and tortilla squares. Stir everything up and let that all gently simmer together until the tortillas get nice and soft, about 10 minutes of simma time. Turn that heat off, do a taste test and add whatever you think it needs. If nothing, you're ready to eat my friends.
FOUR: Serve this up with chickpeas piled on top with chunks of avocado, some minced jalapeño, and some cilantro. Crunched chips are welcome too.
Soup post toppings. Freaking dank right?
Song for the Recipe: Easy by The Commodores
A little cliche I know but who doesn't like a little easy breezy Sunday?
Carrot Cake Cookies
Makes about 20 cookies so that's for like 1 person
Not nearly as sweet as your usual 'cookie' but still fabulous. I've never tried vegan cookies before so I was expecting them to taste on the cardboard/sand side but these are actually very flavorful. The brown sugar and ginger definitely give them the kick that they need. Sharing some knowledge, only cook these babies for 17 minutes because once you take them out to cool they will continue to cook a little on the baking sheet while they chill down. You'll thank me later when you don't gots burnt cooks.
Ingredients
1 1/2 cup flour (whole wheat or white whattteva)
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 cup shredded carrots (about 2 medium carrots on a box grater)
1/2 cup plain almond or other nondairy milk (you decide)
1/4 cup olive or grape seed oil
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (I used pecans because that's what I had. I mean who can tell the difference anyways)
1/2 cup raisins (OPTIONAL. I didn't use raisins)
ONE: Preheat oven to 375F. Spray the baking sheets with nonstick spray.
TWO: In a large bowl, mix together the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and ground ginger. Don't leave lumps of brown sugar in there. Get a nice wrist work out and mix that stuff up. In a smaller bowl, mix together the shredded carrots, milk, and oil. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ones and stir all that ish until there are only a couple dry spots. Fold in the nuts and raisins if you added those and stir until there are no dry spots.
THREE: Scoop spoonfuls of dough onto the baking sheet about 1 inch apart. Bake for 17 minutes. Enjoy my friends.
Song for the Recipe: Into the Wild by LP
Broadening peeps horizons.
Fruit Salad Smoothie
Enough for you and you only baby
I have to say I'm a bigger fan of the Green Smoothie but this was still tasty. It called for bananas and I'm not a banana lady so that might have thrown me off. I still slurped it down though. If you're looking for more of a parfait type of shindig then sprinkle in a layer of ground flaxseed, rolled oats, or granola and you're good to go.
Ingredients:
2 cups spinach (this is a staple in all smoothies)
5 pieces frozen bananas (or 1 full frozen banana cut into 5 small pieces)
1 cup tap or coconut water (I used pineapple coconut water because I'm classy)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/4 cup frozen blueberries
Throw all that ish in a blender and push a button. Done. Add more frozen fruits or liquids depending on how thick you like it.
Song for the Recipe: Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine
Because we all need a bit of my girl Flo in our lives.
Stovetop Herb Popcorn
Makes about 8 cups of popcorn to invite your homies over and enjoy
For those who lived with me in college already know how big of a stovetop popcorn fiend I am. So when I saw this recipe I was extra jazzed. This shit is crazy good. Screw that microwave stuff and make your own because its cheaper and WAY healthier for you. Netflix your favorite show and dig in! This keeps for a couple of days in an airtight container fi you have the self control to not scarf the entire bowl down. No judgement if you do since this is a judgement free zone.
Ingredients:
HERB TOPPING
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried thyme or dill (I used thyme)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon salt (or more if ya want)
POPCORN
1 1/2 tablespoons high-heat oil like grape seed or refunded coconut (I used grape seed)
1/2 cup dried corn kernels (you can get this stuff for super cheap at the market. the yellow kernels are the best)
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt (optional but you'll probably want it for extra flavor)
ONE: Make the herb topping and mix it together in a small bowl.
TWO: Popping corns time. In a large stockpot, heat the high-heat oil over medium heat. Add 3-4 kernels, put on the lid and shake it around every now and then. Once the first kernel pops your pan is ready. Wait until you hear the other kernels pop, then add the rest. It helps to use a glass lid so you can spy on them babies while they pop. Shake the pot around every couple of seconds, you don't have to go crazy just keep things moving around in there a bit. Soon it'll sound like the fourth of July on your stove while those fuckers start popping. It's awesome. They pop fast so don't go far. Once you hear more than a couple of seconds between pops, turn off the heat. Your popcorn is ready.
THREE: Pour the popcorn into a big bowl. Pour the olive oil al over that and stir it around to try and get a bunch covered. Sprinkle in that herb blend and toss it around. Use your hands if you need to and knead the popcorn. I did it and I'm not ashamed. Taste and add more salt if desired.
Song for the Recipe: Move by Mausi
Be pumped. You just made popcorn!
Baked Zucchini Chips
makes enough for 4-6 (roughly 30 chips) depending on the size of the zucchini, so in this case yeah size does matter
I should've let these babies cook longer because mine turned out a little mushy. Not quite as crunchy as I hoped they'd be. Lesson learned. This journey is about new experiences and I learned to make sure the chips are crispy, not mushy. Don't make the same mistake I did. However, the flavor on these nugs is remarkable.
Ingredients:
Cooking spray
1 medium zucchini, about 4-5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide
1 tablespoon flour (any kind that you have)
1/4 tablespoon smoked paprika
1/4 tablespoon garlic powder
pinch of salt
ONE: Heat yo oven to 350F and lightly coat a baking sheet with cooking spray, non stick obviously.
TWO: Cut the zucchini into coins a little thicker than a quarter, too thick they won't cook and too thin they will break a sweat and burn da fugg up. If your slices start releasing some liquid, dab them with a towel to dry them off. Mix together the flour, paprika, garlic powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Toss in the zucchini and mix them together until all the zucchini pieces are coated in flavor.
THREE: Lay the zucchini not eh baking sheet and coat the slices lightly with cooking spray. Bake for 30-40 minutes, flipping them every 10 minutes. Cook longer if you want them more crunchy vs. on the softer side. Keep an eye on them so they don't turn to a burnt crisp.
I added a before and after picture to be kind.
Mmmmmm time to snack like a damn goddess.
Song for the Recipe: Turn It Around by Lucius
This song has me summer dreamin and zucchini's are cheapest in the summer so boom!
Vegetable Pad Thai with Chicken
Enough for 4 hungry humans
Let your taste buds do the talking. This dish is yummy. Stop ordering take out and stop having to put pants on to enjoy some pad thai. Win win for everyone. Make sure you have a big pan or a wok to cook this otherwise you'll have noodles and veggies overflowing onto yo stove.
Ingredients:
SAUCE
1/4 cup lime juice
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons water (yes, tap water)
3 tablespoons brown sugar
3 tablespoons tomato paste (you can get a tiny ass can from target for like $0.37, pocket change baby)
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
NOODLES
14 ounce rice doodles
1 medium crown of broccoli (about 1 cup cut broccoli trees into bite sized pieces)
1/3 cup sliced yellow onion (don't let your eyes tear up like I did, learn from my mistakes)
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup sliced green onions
1/4 cup roughly chopped cilantro
2 teaspoons neutral-taxing oil (I used grape seed)
2 chicken breasts chopped into quarter sized pieces. Grill the chicken or cook it on the stove top, whichever you prefer my friends.
TOPPINGS
2 cups thinly sliced cabbage (I used red)
1/3 cup carrot cut into matchsticks
1 cup bean sprouts (these are so bomb to me for some reason)
Chopped peanuts (I actually used whole peanuts to make it easy)
ONE: Mix together the sauce in a medium glass
TWO: Cook your noodles according to the package. Rinse with cold water. Chop up broccoli into pieces no bigger than a quarter and get all of the other veggies and herbs on lock. Get ready to stir-fry.
THREE: Now everything is lined up, head the oil over medium in a big skillet or wok. Once hot, add the onion and fry them babies until the ends are charred, about 2 minutes. Add the broccoli and keep that shit up for another 2 minutes until the broccoli is limp. Now add the garlic and fry it for about 30 seconds. Gently add the noodles and 1/3 cup of the sauce. Toss it all around to make sure everything is covered. Keep stirring and fold in the chicken (you can use tofu if you want). Cook for another minute to make sure the sauce is nice and absorbed. Keep adding tablespoons of the sauce until it is exactly who you want it. Turn off the heat and fold in the green onions and cilantro.
FOUR: Serve this mound of deliciousness right away topped with the cabbage, peanuts, carrots, and bean sprouts. Dig in and grub out.
So much goodness in one bowl, am I right!?
In honor of the Coachella 2015 lineup being released yesterday.....
Song for the Recipe: Breezeblocks by Alt-J
Because why the heck not and I'm not left handed.
So I woke my ass up and went for a run over by back bay this morning. Pre run I had some of my leftover oatmeal from Sunday, just a little bit to get some protein in my body before I started moving. Excellent idea since I normally don't eat before running in the morning but I had leftovers so might as well finish them off. Once I got back I made my first 'Green Smoothie' and man I will never go buy that Naked/Odwalla/Jamba Juice smoothie shit ever again. This is cheaper, faster, and no long ass lies to wait in, momma like. Green Smoothies are also a VERY good source of fiber. Just want to be sure everyone's digestive system is on track, yaddamean.
Ingredients:
2 cups of greens spinach or kale (I used spinach, which a bundle of this stuff is like $1.29 at Sprouts and is enough to make like 4-5 smoothies. Oh yeah.)
1 cup chucks of creamy fruit (frozen bananas or mangoes or an avocado. I used mangoes but I want to try the avocado next time because that sounds bomb)
3/4 cup of your favorite sweet frozen fruits (like cherries, berries, apples, pears, whatevs ya want. I used 1/4 cup blueberries and 1/2 cup strawberries)
1 1/2 cups liquid. Anything you want. I used 1 cup almond milk and 1/2 cup orange juice because that's what I had, but be creative, that's the whole point.
Throw all that in yo blender and drink up sons!
Don't let the color fool you, that ish was fantastic! I slurped it down real quick.
Song for the Recipe: Bang Pop by Free Energy
Just listen and enjoy. Then make a smoothie or something.
Vietnamese Rice Noodle Salad with Toasted Sesame Dressing (say that 5 times slow)
Makes 4 main dishes or 6 sides for the kiddos
This was bomb. I not only made homemade dressing for the first time but I also had rice noodles! The fresh mint not only makes your kitchen smell like Colgate's new toothpaste but it leaves your pearly whites looking extra fresh. Super straight forward to make and is a very light but filling meal. My friend Nina came over and indulged with me hence two bowls in the photo below.
Ingredients:
1 package maifun or thin rice noodles (I used maifun)
1/2 head of lettuce, chopped (red leaf, butter, whatevs just something leafy my dudes)
2 medium carrots, cut into matchsticks
1 cucumber, peeled and cut into matchsticks
1 cup thinly sliced fresh mint
1 cup thinly slice fresh basil
1 cup chopped cilantro
1 cup sliced green onions
1/2 cup salted, roasted peanuts
DRESSING:
Toasted Sesame Dressing
1/2 cup rice vinegar
1 tablespoon citrus juice (orange, lime or lemon. I used lemon due to the lemon tree right outside my house, holla)
1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
3 tablespoons olive oil
Pour all ingredients into a jar and shake it like a salt shaker. I put it in the fridge and let it cool until the noodles and salad was down but you are free to keep it room temp if you want, do it I dare you.
ONE: Cook the noodles according to the package. When done, drain and run them under cold water until they are cool. Set aside.
TWO: While all this is happening get all your veggies and herbs ready.
THREE: To serve, pile a large mound of noodles in the center of each plate/bowl. Arrange the lettuce, veggies, and herbs around the mound while leaving a good amount of the noodles exposed. Pour that dressing over them noodles and lightly around the veggies and herbs. Sprinkle however many peanuts you want over that delicious slut. Serve with lime wedges if you desire.
Yes, I got a cutesy little pouring device for the dressing. Don't act like you're not impressed.
Song for the Recipe: I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones
I was rocking out to this beat on my way home from the market after work so I thought it was appropriate.
Vegetable-Noodle Soup with Ginger Miso Broth
Makes 2 huge ass bowls or 4 sides
Put your ramen away and try something adults should be eating. This soup is deeeeeeelish. I'm shocked my picky ass was able to enjoy it. Scope the ingredients below and next time you're thinking 'man I really want some soup right now', make this guy and you'll impress all your comrades. Reminder, if you add Sriracha as one of your favorite condiments to the top of the soup, don't be an idiot like me and add too much. My nose AND eyes were running the entire meal but I couldn't stop eating because it was too damn good.
Ingredients:
BROTH *first featured photo
4 inches fresh ginger
2 big cloves garlic
1 carrot
6 cups vegetable broth or water (splurge for the broth)
10 sprigs cilantro (stems and all homies just drop them in)
NOODLES AND VEGGIES
8 ounces soba, udon, or rice noodles (don't be a noob like me and take 20 minutes to find them at the store)
1/4 teaspoon soy sauce or tamari
1 1/4 cup broccoli cut into bite-size pieces
1 1/2 teaspoons red miso paste (go to your local ASIAN market and pick it up. took me 4 different locations until I sacked up and went to the asian market)
1 carrot, cut into think matchsticks
1 cup snow peas sit into matchsticks
1/3 cup thinly sliced green onions
Your favorite condiments***
- for this I used a squeeze of lime juice, a splash of olive oil, and a splooge of Sriracha but you can add whatever tickles your fancy.
ONE: To make the broth, peel the ginger by scraping the skin off with a spoon. This process takes much longer than you think it will so plan accordingly or have better ginger scraping skills than me. Cut the ginger into 1/4-inch-think slices. Thickly slice the garlic too and chop the carrot into big chunks. Grab a medium pot and turn heat to medium. Once the pot is hot, add the ginger and carrot chunks and let them heat up. It's cool if they stick to the pan just stir them round with a spoon and you're golden. Stir for about 2 minutes. Then add the garlic and do the same. Pour in the broth and water, add the cilantro, and let that veggie hot tub simmer for 15 minutes.
TWO: While broth is a brewing, cook the noodles according to the package.
THREE: When the broth has simmered for 15 minutes, pull out all the ginger, carrot, and cilantro with a slotted spoon. Add the soy sauce and broccoli and simmer for a minute or two until broccoli has lost its raw edge, then turn off heat. Scoop up 1/2 cup of the broth and dissolve the miso paste in it, string until the chunks are gone. Pour that back in the pot and give it all a taste. Bomb huh?
FOUR: To assemble the soup properly, grab a handful of the noodles and place them at the bottom of the bowl. Add a handful of the carrots, snow peas, and green onions. Ladle the hot broth and broccoli bits over and let it sit for a minute as the carrots and snow peas soften. Top with some more green onions and some of your favy fave condiments.
ENJOY YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!
Song for the recipe: Sandstorm by Dared
This is how my nose felt after I ate too much Sriracha.
One down and a butt load more to go! I started with a breakfast dish because I wake up in the mornings and am hungry so I make breakfast. Believe it: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The awesome thing about this meal is that it keeps you nice and full hours after consumption so no need for snacks between meals. The quinoa gives it protein because why not have some extra protein in the morning and start your day off on the right foot, or left if that's your thing. Serve the oatmeal with nuts, maple syrup, brown sugar, fresh fruit or whatever other toppings you'd like to add. I did brown sugar, honey, and blackberries (the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice). Super easy and makes plenty of leftovers so when I want to snooze my alarm tomorrow morning I'm already set on bfast.
Ingredients:
4 cups water
1/2 cup quinoa
1 teaspoon olive or coconut olive (I used coconut because I'm super fancy)
1 cup steel cut-oats
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup almond milk
ONE: Heat up the water in a medium sized pan until it is near boiling. Put the quinoa in a strainer and rinse it so it doesn't take bitter.
TWO: In a saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the oats and stir them around until they smell kinda toasty, takes about 2 minutes. Add the quinoa and hot water and bring all to a boil. This won't take long since the water is already hot as tits.
THREE: Once it is boiling, turn down the heat on the pot and let simmer uncovered. Takes about 25-30 minutes to finish so busy yourself with something because you know what's worse than watching grass grow? Watching oatmeal cook. It should be down now. You want it to be a little chewy, not hard. Add the almond milk and turn off the heat.
Song for the recipe: The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
It was the first song that came on when I shuffled my Spotify Playlist, sue me.
Hey everyone, how's it going? Welcome to my blog! I've always been a big eater and wanted to tackle my cooking game to accelerate it into something magical. In light of the recent holiday I was lucky enough to get a cook book from one of my best buddies I lived with in college: Thug Kitchen,eat like you give a f*ck. Coincidence? I think not. With this new gem in my possession I've decided to make and try every recipe in it. Important information so listen up. All of the recipes are animal product free. Disclaimer: My idea is to only alter a few recipes because I'm a meat lover and need me some meat, no pun intended. Yes, peoples diets who are rich in animal proteins are four times more likely than those who eat lean of it to die of cancer. I'd love to stay cancer free for the duration of my life so my strategy is to only substitute/add a few animal products to get my proper fix. Plus the whole tofu and tempeh products taste like cardboard and give me diarrhea so I'd love to avoid that at all costs. I'll be sure to note which recipes and ingredients I alter for those who give a shit.
There are six different courses featured in this book:
1. Carpe Fucking Diem (Breakfast)
2. Short Order Shit (Salads, Sammies, and Mini Meals)
3. Big-Ass Cup of Cozy (Soups and Stews)
4. The Munchies (Salads, Sips, and the Snack Life)
5. The Main Event (Burritos, Bowls, and Other Bomb-Ass Meals)
6. Sweet Talk (Baked Goods and Motherfucking Dessert)
I have zero idea how long it will take to tackle and complete this beast but I'm optimistic once I start I won't want to stop. Plus some recipes seem pretty straight forward for us beginners that I can double up and conquer more than one in a day, gold star for me. With each recipe I plan to pair it with a song to depict the emotional side of this whole experience. I mean why not add a few funky beats while you're getting down and dirty in the kitchen?
Stay tuned for good eats to arrive, until then I'll leave you with some food for thought (see what I did there) "People who love to eat are always the best people" - Julia Child.
